Das Ausrufen für Emmy

I haven’t written in six days, so here’s a shout out to Em, Lindz, Derek, and Bay.  Continents apart, but we still have to keep our promises.  There’s a lesson for everyone.

I can barely remember what I did all week because I was too busy thinking about Kevin finally getting here.  I also don’t think I ever mentioned that we went to Frankfurt together as a group last week.  It was really cold and snowy and we took a tour through Goethe’s house, although the tour guide made sure to tell us a hundred times that none of the rooms look like they used to when he lived there, it was just a guess, really.  Table there, chair there, hang a painting, collect a toll, boom.  And the floor was really, really creaky, so even if I could pay attention on a tour, I couldn’t hear what the woman was saying half of the time anyway.  I’m sorry everyone who will think I am annoying for saying this, but tours and museums are the worst!  What a terrible way to try to learn things. 

Anyway, our excursion this week was also a tour, but a bit more interesting.  We got to go into a local TV studio and see how they produced everything and all of their equipment.  Then we got to sit in on a live news show and as a special treat, I have included a link to our episode (http://www.rnf.de/video-portal/sendung/videos/show/rnf-life-die-sendung-vom-19032013.html?no_cache=1&cHash=6eaca99db377af26b7fc659ad629ba64).  First of all, I didn’t know we’d be the only ones in the studio, along with the reporter and two camera guys and one guy whose only job was to make sure the cable connected to the camera did not get damaged in any way. Second of all, I didn’t know we’d actually be on TV, but then they told us to clap in the beginning and all of a sudden the camera was on us.  And then after the first news story they panned back over to us for a while and introduced us as visiting American students.  You can tell by the looks on our faces that we didn’t know it was coming, nor did any of us know what to do.  So it’s a fun watch.

They also have an in-studio kitchen that they use when they film cooking shows, and because of the way the air is filtered out of the studio and throughout the rest of the building to keep it cool, all of the surrounding offices can smell whatever is being cooked that day and apparently everyone comes trickling in one by one to see if they can get a taste.  Someone should make a reality TV show about a TV studio.

We finally got our student ID’s, so now we are official Universität Heidelberg students and can check out books from the library and everything.  Real classes start halfway through April and right now we’re still in the planning phase of it all.  It think I am going to take a German writing course with Herr Dörr, a class about migration into Germany taught by Adam and another visiting American professor, a class about German pronunciation, and also a class about teaching a foreign language.  Plus the internship.  I’m excited for it, but now I’m okay with one more week of German class and then our big test and then spring break. We are learning more German grammar than I ever even knew was possible to learn.  It is exhausting every single day, but it is so, so cool to be able to listen to and read German and finally understand why they say things a certain way, or what exactly it means—I love it. 

Sam and I went to a P.E. class with our 7^th grade boys from English class and we played soccer with them all period and it was so fun.  Sam’s team definitely won, but I blame it on my tiny, wimpy goalie.  He was so precious.  And of course in P.E. class we speak German, so it was a good way for us to incorporate more German into a technically English speaking internship.  Hopefully we can continue doing that.

So finally Friday came around and I got to get on a train to Frankfurt and meet Kevin there.  And just so everyone officially knows, he grew a beard.  Yes, it’s true.  We spent a few hours in Frankfurt with one of Kevin’s friends from Salzburg and then headed back down to Heidelberg.  Then we only had Saturday together before he had to head on to Salzburg and do some business-like stuff.  Sam and I showed him around a little bit of the city and then took him up Philosophenweg and then we all headed right, toward Klosterhof.  We sat down in the restaurant when we finally got there and all enjoyed the best beer in the world (not true, according to Kevin, but we just have different taste buds! he says).  And fear not German professors of Redlands, we spoke in German the entire day.  Which was actually strange, because of course, Kevin and I speak English to each other normally.  It’s a little like trying to get to know someone all over again when you speak in a different language with them.  But it was fun, and it’s nice to be able to finally do that.  Then Kevin and I went and saw Die Croods.  Kids movies are my favorite in English, and naturally, auf Deutsch, they are even better, because I get so excited when I can understand most of what they are saying.  It was definitely a good movie, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as funny without the grown man sitting a few rows behind us and dying of laughter after every joke.  Welcome to Germany, where you can get a bag of popcorn and a beer from the refreshment counter.  And what the heck is it actually called, because I know it’s not the refreshment counter. 

Anyway, the next morning, as in this morning, Kevin took off to Salzburg.  We had taken all of his luggage with us to the train station of course and we said goodbye and he got on the train and I stood there and could kind of see him through the window as he put all of his bags away and then all of a sudden I hear “Schatz!” from the open train door and look up and he’s standing there with his head poked out, and goes, “Rucksack!”—whoops! I still had his backpack on; the train almost pulled away without it!  Good call, Kev, nicely done.  Also I should say, in addition to Sofie spelling my name like this “Heli” she also spelled Kevin’s like this “Kefin”.  So I shall refer to him as Kef, from now on. 

This week is our last week of grammar class.  On Thursday I get to go join Kefin in Salzburg for Easter weekend, which I think will be the closest thing I’ve had to spending Easter with family in four years.  I’m excited about it.  Then we both come back to Heidelberg that Monday and he gets ready to begin a month long intensive German course in Mannheim, and I spring break for a week or so.  I’ll have to find something to pass my time.  Maybe I’ll write a novel.  My dad sent me a note that said a novel takes 475 hours to write.  I think I’ll have time for that.  

Do it now, not somewhen

Herr Dörr is a baller and also my German professor.  He will drill you until you come up with a grammatically correct answer in class and it usually involves him threatening to jump out the window, go home and console himself by laying and/or withering away in bed, or throw something at you, if you say one more wrong thing.  He once asked me if I was a Maus or a Frau in class because I answered something in a quiet, not sure at all voice, so I had to tell him I was just a Mausfrau.  Mouse Woman.  It’s like Batman or Cat Girl, but inevitably better at German and also just cooler in general. 

We have German grammar class on Monday-Friday from 9 to 12.  I have never learned so much and so intensively in my life.  It is the best and also most exhausting thing in the world.  I feel like Leo after he has closed every single drawer, cabinet, stove, microwave, and dishwasher in the house. And yet I am so much smarter for it and can finally understand all of the things I once couldn’t (not something Leo can say for himself).  The class goes for the next two weeks and then we have to take the DSH, which is the German language test that tells you if you’re actually good enough to take classes at a German university.  Too bad Universität Heidelberg, I am already here, and I am taking your classes whether you like it or not. On the test, you can get a 1 (not good enough), 2 (good enough), or 3 (significantly smaller chance of being thrown out of a window by Herr Dörr).

Today Herr Dörr said this in class: „Ich glaube an das Lesen.  Beim Lesen sortiert man seine Gedanken.“ Which I loved.  It means, I believe in reading.  When you read, you can sort out your thoughts.  Or something like that.  I like it.  I like it all.

Last Tuesday we visited the Popakademie of Mannheim, which is exactly what it sounds like, a college for pop music.  That was an interesting thing, but also exactly what it sounds like, so I won’t go into too much detail.  The best part was when we all had to give presentations about our visit and Sam and I made a PowerPoint (well Sam made it, I just looked at pictures of Adam Levine on google) with collages from the past three eras of pop music.  The other coolest part was that for the first time ever, I wasn’t nervous to give a speech in German and could just talk naturally (mistakes and all).  Personal growth, currently in progress.

Another great, wonderful, amazing thing, is that Sam and I both got the internship at Hölderlingymnasium, the middle/highschool here, and are now going to be tandem teaching English this semester.  We met with Herr Doktor Schork (who later told us we could just call him Albrecht!!) who is one of 15 English teachers at Hölderlin, and he was basically just like okay, go teach.  We watched him teach two separate classes (7^th and 8^th graders) and then sat down and had coffee with him to discuss the run of the internship and how it would go.  He was super German and upfront and direct and that is the greatest thing ever, because we have no idea what we’re doing half the time.  So after that morning, he asked us if we wanted to come back the next morning and teach a lesson.  Ummmm…can we do that? Apparently.  He sat in the back of the class and we led the kids through a few dumb worksheets and tried to act like we knew what we were doing, which at times was awkward, but other times great.  And today we taught our second lesson, which went a little bit better, and Albrecht even told us we were natural born teachers and that it went great. And he's German, if we sucked, he'd tell us.  So we’re on our way.  Albrecht is an all-around nice guy and a really good teacher of English, so I think we have a lot to learn from him.  He is also a P.E. teacher, so tomorrow we get to go play soccer or basketball with the 8^th graders in the afternoon.  Life perfected.  We think the students will probably love us much more once they realize we play to play.

And hey, remember that time when Sam got locked out of her room all weekend so we had a slumber party for two nights? Yep, that happened.  Poor her, had to sleep on my hard floor with my deflated pillow.  But lucky her, because she got to be with me always.  We made our usual trip to Klosterhof for beer refills on Saturday and also decided to climb the mountain upon which the Heidelberger Schloss sits.  So we started off up to the Schloss and then tried to find our way up to Königsstuhl, which was the destination for the hike.  Other people said there were about 2 thousand million stairs you could take to get to the top, but our curiosity just kept getting the best of us and we basically played a game called, “Hey, I wonder if we can get up this way?” the whole hike.  There was no such thing as a beaten path.  Except when we finally found the beaten path almost at the top and said, okay, but just this once.

It was gorgeous when we got to the top and we were so excited, but then it was already 5 pm and the last trammy thing down was leaving and so we hopped on and rode ten minutes or so back down into Heidelberg.  Slightly disappointing, but we can always go back up and explore on top again.  Plenty of time for that. I didn’t realize there would be so much cool hiking in Heidelberg and I am pleasantly surprised by all of the things we discover.

On Sunday we went for a walk around our neighborhood because we hadn’t really done that yet.  It was cool to find a few markets, bakeries, and bars around the area, and there were some of the prettiest houses just around the corner from us.  Ringstrasse 37 (my building) is not that glamorous.  We also ended up walking through a cemetery, which was really strange, but also really cool just because it was so peaceful and there were graves from people born in the 1700’s, old professors from Universität Heidelberg, and then the other people who should just be remembered because they were people too. 

Which reminds me (not chronologically) that we watched Vielleicht lieber nicht (or Perks of Being a Wallflower) in German the other night.  Sam had just loaned me the book in German and I had started reading it and could actually understand all of it and then we decided to watch the movie, of which I could understand less, and it was an emotional thing.  After it was over, I think I just turned to Sam and said, There are so many feelings inside of me right now! And that was the only way I could describe it. It was overwhelming and I was and am still so struck by all of the things I felt.  Maybe because I couldn’t understand the language as well, I focused more on the things I could understand, which were all of the emotions, and it just left me in a strange, cinematically vulnerable state.  But I loved it.  Maybe I should never watch it in English, it would ruin my connection with Charlie.

A quote from the book which resonated with me: “Ich schwöre, in diesem Moment waren wir undendlich.“ I swear, in that moment we were infinite/boundless/endless.”  I don’t even think any of those English words can do it justice in the same way.  I wonder what the original sentence is, in English.  I don’t really want to know. It just encompasses so much in one small sentence and makes me think.  Unendlich. In that moment.  Words are the best.

On another translation note, Adam, the program assistant gave us a really good one for some graffiti while we were visiting the Popakademie.  It said something like, “Jetzt was tun, nicht irgendwann Baby.“  And when we asked him what it might mean exactly, he goes, “Do it now, not some…when?” So ever since then, that has been a memorable quote.  He is a native Polish speaker, but now teaches German, and has also studied English (and is only 26! Gee-whiz!).  He’s really interested in the slang and idioms in each language, so he knows all sorts of English phrases that he shouldn’t.  It’s the best.  And I am no longer waiting for somewhen to do it.

In other news, guess who is coming to visit on Friday? No big deal, just Kevin Bailey who I haven’t seen in 3 months.  There is only one feeling for that, and it is excitement.  If I don’t write again for a month, you know why.  But also stop complaining already because I will write, gosh. I think my next blog will just have to be a photo tour of all of the things I see in a day.  Coming soon.

The Klosterhof Bier

Adventures are nonstop.  I will try to get to all of it.

1.  Romanian Roommate.  When I first got to my room, everything was a mess.  Things in the kitchen were sticky.  Pots and pans everywhere. We have separate rooms, but we share a kitchen and bathroom. I have been cleaning one thing per day and now everything is almost clean.  My roommate also doesn't speak German, only English, which is a bummer, but I don't see her that much anyway.  She also made me tiramisu and so I'll keep her.

2. Klosterhof.  I found the best beer in the world, IN THE WORLD.  Sam, who is one of the girls from my group that I get along with really well (awkward because she might be reading this now....hey Sam...), and I went on an adventure day about a week ago.  We decided to try to find the Monk Brewery up in the hills surrounding Heidelberg.  First you have to climb up the steepest steps/walkway ever, called Philospher's Way, and then you turn right, and then you just keep going about 20 or 30 minutes until you get there.  At least that's what Adam said.  He's one of the Program Assistants and has been giving us tours every so often.  Well, Sam and I turned right, thinking it would just be a short walk along the hillside.  We stopped and drank a beer along the way, just philosophizing.  Then we kept walking. And we kept walking.  Through a forest type atmosphere.  It was beautiful, but we just started to wonder where the heck we were. We had been walking for over an hour by the time we finally found a rock that declared it the end of Philosopher's Way.  Then called Adam, who told us a vitally important detail that he had left out before, that we had to turn right somewhere. So we turned right and followed a stream and ended up with this view, of the farm.

And then we found the coolest Hofladen ever and I talked (in German, of course) to the owner who explained to me which products they actually make on their own, and I understood everything because I am now a farmer. I felt like I was at home there.  Then of course, we went into the restaraunt where they were serving the monk's brew on tap.  So we sat down, tired, confused, but happy we finally made it, and drank the best beer I've ever had in my life.  It had that amazingly smooth and buttery aftertaste and I wanted it to never end.  Which, of course, meant that it ended very quickly.  Luckily, we can buy six packs at the Hofladen, and I think that's the only place it's sold so far.  Except one of the student cafeterias.  Point, Germany.

Hofladen :)

Restaraunt

Best beer in the world award, also! It's organic!

Inside the restaurant

3. Schlossome!  We went up to the Heidelberger Schloss as a group on Wednesday.  Herr Dörr, who will be my teacher for the intensive german course (starting on MONDAY!), took us on a tour.  It was cool to listen to him explain how and when everything was built.  Definitely provided great views.  We also weren't there for very long, so I need to go back and do an unguided tour. Try and sneak into some roped off areas.

This is like 5 times as tall as a person in real life! Used to store wine. That would last me about a week.

E+H

Thought that was a great tree

4. Soccer Practice? So since I'm trying to get away from my American groupmates, I decided to look into finding a soccer team to play with while I'm here.  I found one online and sent them an email on Wednesday to see what they were all about.  I got an email back saying that practices were on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 7 pm if I wanted to come by and play with them.  I emailed back and said I'd come that Friday, and then got a response saying, "Ich bin ein Mann, nicht eine Frau."  Luckily it was followed by a smiley face.  I just assumed the person I was emailing was a girl, but it was a guy, the trainer of the women's team.  Whoooooops. That's embarassing.  Anyway, I showed up to practice on Friday evening having no idea what to expect as far as skill level or drills or me being completely out of shape.

Nobody really talked to me at first, and I think they didn't really know that I didn't speak German very well.  I talked to the trainer that I'd emailed and also the co-trainer, who was a younger girl, and they were just like, okay, join in.  So at first we were dribbling around and the co-trainer would call out a number or letter that corresponded with some kind of move, which I only remembered half of the time.  I was trying really hard to understand what she was saying, but the soccer vocab is new to me.  So we're still dribbling all together, maybe 20 of us, and then all of a sudden, some chick comes and steals my ball.  Well then I think, okay, maybe we're playing a game where one person goes around trying to take the others balls, but at the same time I wasn't really sure, so I awkwardly looked around and saw that I was the only one without a ball.  I half-heartedly tried to steal balls away, but also was afraid I wasn't supposed to be doing that and maybe they were just wondering what the heck I was doing, which resulted in me kind of chasing them all around for three full minutes, total awkwardness.  Turns out I was right about being a ball stealer, and finally some girl just let me have her ball and went to be the shark.  Off to a good start.

It took so much concentration to understand the drills, but I was definitely keeping up and not too terrible.  Some girls were pretty good, others were worse than me, only two asked me my name and offered theirs, which was to be expected.  There wasn't much time for talking.  I was happy when we scrimmaged at the end and I got a high five for scoring a goal.  I think I'll go back on Monday, and slowly but surely, they will start to love me.  Or just figure out that I can't understand them most of the time.  One girl was trying to make up rules all on her own for a drill and impose them on me and was just getting mad at me because I didn't understand.  I wanted to kick her.  Body language crosses cultures.

5. Klosterhof Refill.  Today (yes, we finally made it to present time), Sam and I needed to go back to the Klosterhof and stock up on our favorite beer.  I'm pretty positive it will become a weekly thing.  We met up with one of her friends that's studying abroad in Freiburg right now and some other girls and we took a bus to the Kloster.  We went into the Hofladen and Sam and I both hauled three liters each out of there in our back packs.  I also asked the woman at the cash register if they every needed help, and she said that they might need help in the restaraunt once the weather gets consistently nicer, so I may take her up on that.

Anyway, we wanted to hike up the whole mountain because we heard there was a Kneipe on top and some ruins to check out.  To make a long story short, we hiked up millions of miles and had the best adventure and finally found our destination, along with lots of great views along the way.  We stopped and had some food and drink at the Kneipe, and also explored the ruins of a monastery which were from year 1057, or somewhere around that.  Amazing.  It was absolutely insane to walk through the hallways and try to imagine what life could have possibly been like a thousand years ago.  There was also a huge amphitheater which was only built in the 1930's and specifically used for Nazi propaganda and ralleys.  Slightly depressing, but it was quite a cool place to explore.

Needless to say, we were tired after coming back down the mountain. My body hurts.  But it was an amazing day, gorgeous weather, and good picture taking opportunities.  We felt like pretty cool tour guides to be able to take the Freiburgers on such an adventure in what is now our beautiful city.

These pictures are allll out of order, but that's fine. Here's Heidelberg!

Am Neckar, as the sun was setting.

ME

Standing at the bottom of the amphitheater

Sammy Wammy

From the top of the monastery tower

1000 A.D. and still standing? 

Amazing

Top of the amphitheater

Lookout area, castle is to the left of our heads way out there

Exhausted and happy

Hiking millions of miles

So far those are the biggest events that have been happening.  On Monday, it is time to get down to business with school and hopefully the German learning kick back up again.  I am going to apply for an internship to work as an English Assistant at a high school here, so we'll see how that goes.  There is always something going on, always something to do.  And now the thing to do is sleep.

The Miscommunication

We'll start with goodbyes and end with hellos.  I had a great last night at the farm.  We drank wine and talked a lot and laughed a lot and then hugged each other goodbye early the next morning.  They sent me off with a care package so I wouldn't go hungry my first night in Heidelberg.  I wasn't expecting that and it was really sweet.  Bettina also gave me a German cookbook that features the Schacherbauerhof and some of her own recipes.  She was on a TV show two years ago that was basically a competition for the best Bavarian "Landfrau".  Anyway they compiled the recipes and stories of each of the fourteen women and made a very nice cookbook, available in stores today!

My trip to Salzburg was great.  I arrived at about eleven in the morning and strolled along the Salzach until I got to the Altstadt, where I had breakfast and just smiled forever.  Then I found the Universität Salzburg Student Services Center (or something like that) and had a full-on conversation with a guy about studying at the University for 20 minutes or so.  I was really proud of myself, but also, didn't find out much more than I could have read on the website.  It was helpful to physically talk to someone though.

After that I walked up the familiar way to the Mönchsberg and found the ole' Markentenderschloßl, just like I left it.  I spent the afternoon with Christina, one of the Program Assistants (and also from Portland!).  We talked and walked and drank coffee and then a beer at the Aug.  It was definitely nice to have some American time.  I joined the students for dinner, but had to run after 20 minutes or so and catch my train.  I got back into Burghausen at 9:30 that evening, hopped on my bike, and rode home! Definitely sang Taylor Swift as loud as possible when I was riding past the highway.  I'll never know if I sounded good.

All of that feels like ancient history now! I've been in Heidelberg for almost a full week and I'm actually starting to get the hang of it all. I arrived on Friday at noon.  I locked up my suitcases in a locker so that I could go exploring until 2 pm, when I was supposed to meet some of the group at the main train station. I walked around trying to find the Altstadt, but could not figure it out, so I ended up going in circles and all sorts of shapes until I finally got back to the train station and sat and waited the last fifteen minutes until people were supposed to meet.  So it's 2:00 and I'm looking around...nobody.  2:15. Nothing. 2:30, nope.  Call the American Junior Year (AJY, from now on) center, nobody answers.  2:45, getting cold. 3:00, phone vibrates.  It was Frau Doktor Heckmann, the director of the program.  She told me about some mystical letter I was supposed to have recieved, telling me that we were supposed to meet outside of the McDonald's at 2:00, just to the left of where I had been waiting, but a bit out of view.  Yes, they had been there at two, where had I been? Oh Frau Doktor, what are you talking about? Well Irena, one of the Program Assistants, came to the train station and took me to my apartment, about a 5 minute walk from the train station.  Later I found out I had not received any of the emails sent to the group about the impending semester because they had written my email haley_peterson@redlands.edu.  I wonder what other kinds of important information I missed out on?

The most important part is that I made it.  The group met up at the AJY Center in the center of the city for a pizza dinner and to get to know each other that night.  In the AJY Center is the director and assistant's offices, a classroom, computer room, TV room, student kitchen, and a bathroom, of course.  We all sat around and awkwardly talked in German together and ate pizza.  There are 13 new students this semester and 9 that are there for the full year, so this is their second semester in Heidelberg. The rule is that German must be spoken in the AJY Center at all times, otherwise you get kicked out for the rest of the day! I think they're being lax about it right now, because most every time the students are alone, it's all English, all the time.  It'll get better.

They also always want to do everything as a group, which is never good, because then everyone is really loud and obnoxious and that's just not how the Germans groove. Gotta get outta there.  I have heard so much English in the past week, I think my German will go straight downhill. During this week, we have just had orientation.  That means, paperwork, tours, going through handbooks, all sorts of fun things. Today we took a German placement test to decide which preliminary course we would be in.  Made it into the better group, felt good about it.

I am going to have to finish this post tomorrow because there's too much to write about and I'm sleepy! It's been a really busy week, as I'm sure you can imagine. Coming next time...Philosopher's Way, best beer in the world, exploring the castle, and my roommate.  Look forward to it.  Pictures will come too.  There are a lot of good ones.

The Schlachthaus

Bettina and Georg went on an overnight trip to Regensburg and guess who took care of the cows the whole time? Ha! I did! I am an expert!  I had to milk them three times on my own.  The first time was a fiasco, but mostly because I think the cows just sensed that Georg wasn’t coming and they felt like messing with me.  

Somehow, four of the cows that we don’t milk ended up in the group that gets milked.  I have no idea how they did it.  There are gates that stop them from going into the other section.  They must have done magic. It’s the only explanation.  Luckily, Opa helped me drive the four out of the mangled group of 35 or so and into the right section again.  Then, the whole time I was milking, the stupid cows kept dropping mud pies all over.  All of them.  Usually one or two will do it during a milking, and that's messy enough as it is. Then, there is one cow that always tries to kick me 18 times when I’m milking her.  I was getting mad at her and as she tried to stomp her foot down on my arm I grabbed her leg thinking for some reason that I could stop her.  Couldn’t.  I felt like a substitute teacher with a class full of high schoolers.  They settled down for day two though. No one pooped and no one ran amuck and all were milked in perfect harmony.  Except the kicker.

Sofie was also sick for the two days her parents were gone, so I hung out with her during the day.  We read together and did some of her math work book, but she said it hurt her head.  So we switched to cartoons.  Then she would run around hyper for about five minutes and want to play all sorts of games.  Then she would get droopy eyes and wrap herself up in a blanket and lie down and claim that she was dead. Ich bin tot! If death is just a cold and a headache…might not be so bad.

Anna took on the role of mother when she got home from school, cooking dinner and then breakfast the next morning, and laying out a note for me about the contents of my plate.  

Dear HLLEY (sorry!) HALEY, (still owes me an apology for that one)

--Do you want a cup of "Ceylon Lemon Honey tea"?  Over there is sugar!

--On your plate is your bred; it's not warm, but you can toast it! (perfect usage of the semi-colon, by the way)

--We have not butter, only fresh cheese and cherry jam.

--You can eat a strawberry muesli.  Watch out! You must shake the yoghurt, before you open it! But I don't know, if it good yet!

--I wish you a nice day with Sofie!

Anna and Marlene

Anna likes to practice her English with me.  It makes me wonder what my German sounds like. She is great.  That night, we all watched The Pirates of the Caribbean 2 together and Johnny Depp still looks good with a German-Pirate accent.  I tried to leave to go shower, but Marlene hooked her arms around me like a little koala and wouldn't let me go.  So we cuddled for the last forty minutes of the movie.  Kids are fun sometimes.

Today I tried to spray water at a cow with a hose to get it to move and ended up spraying myself in the face because the nozzle was faced the wrong way.

I also had to help Opa get two pigs into a trailer today, because guess where they were going? To the slaughter house.  When I found out, I just stood there, cool, calm, and collected on the outside, but horrified on the inside, because there they were, just enjoying life, being annoying, stupid pigs, and in a few hours, they would be dead.  They didn’t even have a clue.  I had spent three weeks hating them, and if I were staying longer, I would also probably spend a week eating them.  It was the last true farm experience I needed to have:  going to the slaughter house.

Two pink pigs, probably 150 pounds each, loaded up in the trailer and Opa drove us all of 8 km through the snow and backed up the trailer to the double doors of a barn.  The butcher came out in all white. Like a bride on her wedding day.  We opened the door for the pigs to run out into the large, white room with green flooring and stainless steel gadgets all over.  As the pigs ran in, I saw the butcher holding a big clamp in his hand with pokey teeth on the end.  He chased after the pigs, at which point I thought, this does not look like something I want to see, and turned away.  Opa told me I could come inside the room if I wanted to watch.  No.  No, I do not.  He went in and I heard some squealing.  Then he came back out and explained to me that the clamp thing was just to give the pigs an electric shock so that they couldn’t feel anything anymore.  So they’re dead? I asked.  No, still alive.  I peeked inside and saw them both lying on the ground, one was shaking a little bit, and a big pool of blood lay in between them.  So, as it turns out, I could never be a farmer.

 There they were, still alive, lying in their own blood.  I shut the door again. The door had windows, which were foggy except for right around the edges.  I looked through the centimeter gap and saw that the pigs were being raised up by their back legs and hung from those devices you always see on television, and then the butcher pushed them over to the other side of the room to wash them and it got too foggy to see.  I just kept thinking, how the heck does this guy spend every single day killing animals?  I understand it’s necessary for food, but to actually be the person that has to do it?  You would have to be so detached from them.  Maybe a chicken or two is one thing, but cows, pigs…things that look more similar to dogs and cats than a bird.  That’s where my farming career would end. I would accidentally set all the animals free.

Brighter things are ahead.  I’m taking the day off tomorrow and heading down to Salzburg! Over two years later and I will finally be back.  I shouldn’t say finally.  Some people don’t go back for 20 years, if ever.  Some people can’t even go back because they’ve never been there a first time.  And I get to say I’m going back tomorrow.  Brighter things. 

PS: The first link for the Sofie video never fully loaded.  I think this one should work:  http://youtu.be/OOMQjrVB8MM

The Americans

Last night Sofie thought I was cool because I showed her some really tricky dance moves. The kind of moves that would leave you dateless at prom.  In some cases, that probably would have been the better option, looking back. But Sofie loved it, and she can now slide back and forth on the wooden floors of the loft by doing a little heel-toe-swisherooni action.  Hard to describe.  It’s so advanced.  Anna did not want to participate, but that’s what happens when you become a teenager.

This week has actually been fairly identical to the last one, minus cow trampeling, add in cow chasing.  For some reason the cows kept getting out yesterday.  Also yesterday the grandparents had their kitchen painted by this guy and he was terrible! There was paint everywhere.  I just kept wondering to myself if maybe he was some kind of charity case or family friend or maybe they weren’t even paying him…I don’t know.  It was bad.  They also picked that day to clean the whole kitchen in detail and they’ve got a lot of crap in there.  Helping them was like payback for all the times I didn’t clean my room as a kid. 

Sofie took me on a tour of the farm last Friday and I made a video of it all.  I figured that would be a cool way to show you all around, instead of just pictures.  The trouble is that it’s taking forever to upload to YouTube, so this link may not be ready yet, but give it a shot: http://youtu.be/maRxyKP1kcs. By tomorrow it should work.

Here's some random pictures for your viewing pleasure:

Sofie helping us bake bread

Monster, snake, HAYLEY

Here's the brick oven..

Oma

Demeter is a certification in Germany that all of your products are organic

In they all go!

Looks exactly like me.  After this picture, Sofie and I cut me in half and ate me.

They're ready to come out and go straight over to the store!

Here's an angry cat

Just follows me around sometimes

Today, I basically get the day off.  Which means I just help with the morning and evening milking, and have the whole rest of the day free.  I’ll take it. My chocolate supply is fresh out and I need to bike into town to reload.  If you think I’m kidding, I’m 100% not.  That is the only reason I will be going into Burghausen today.  Plus the biking cancels out the calories.  I didn’t say it canceled out all of them, Mom, you head shaker. The plural form of calorie can mean as little as two.

I had an interesting talk with Georg the other day as we were milking.  I feel like he had a bone to pick with Americans.  It seems like a lot of people I meet do.  Not that they are picking specifically at me, but using me as an instrument to confirm or deny their suspicions.  Georg was talking about how there are a lot more Americans that are full of themselves than Germans.  I told him right away that he was correct, but it’s because we are actually better than them, that’s why.  If it’s true, it’s allowed.

I actually just stood there and listened, waiting to see how he would make his argument.  He said that one American woman that emailed them about WWOOFing basically just said, “Oh I’m really good at this and I do this well and I’m super good at this…etc.” And his second body of proof was how Steve Jobs made a speech one time where he commended himself for being Steve Jobs.  Of course, we both agreed, Steve Jobs can probably say what he wants, he’s Steve Jobs.  Georg may have had more experiences than that, but he didn’t share them with me.  I kept thinking back to the email that I sent them to introduce myself and ask if I could stay with them, wondering if I sounded full of myself, self-centered, or like I was bragging. I came to the conclusion that my German probably isn’t even good enough to be able to sound conceited. It was definitely an unfair generalization to make about Americans, about any people, and there’s obviously no way to prove either side, but as I sat there and mulled over this conversation in my head, what bothered me the most was thinking about all of the important people in my life, “the Americans”, and wondering how anyone could just peg them as one thing without considering any other aspects of their lives or personalities.  And when did opinions become facts?  When did “I think” become “There is”?   

It’s difficult to understand different cultures and how they contribute to people’s behavior or personalities.  I get that.  It’s easy to say these people are one way, and these, another, and then go to bed and feel good about yourself because you’re in the better group.  Bullshit.  People are people. Let’s leave it at that.

On a less rant-y note, Heidelberg is only a week away!  I keep thinking about how weird it’s going to be to live a “student” life again. I feel like I’ve been past that part of my life for the last year or so, besides the whole, “going to classes” thing.  I’ll be living in an apartment with three other German students (probably weirdos, nobody else would sign up to live with an international student because they all have other friends, but my dad told me I could just teach them how to say bad words in English, so I think it’ll be fine).  I’m excited and ready to get to it.  Not that I’m overly-confident or anything, not that I’m better than anyone else or anything, not that I—well, you get it. 

I bet someday Georg is going to be like, see Hayley?  Americans are so full of themselves.  And then he’s going to pull up my blog on his stupid iPad that Steve Jobs created and I’m going to say, that girl sounds like a catch. 

The Koibee

You’ve seen the movies, you know the scenes where the cow girl jumps over the iron gate, no big deal, super smooth.  What you probably don’t know is that every time the cow girl does that, the crotch of her pants rip.  That is one of the many things I have learned during my first week at the Schacherbauerhof in Mehring, Germany.  I have also learned, many times over, to walk in the new fallen snow instead of the snow that has been packed down and is now slippery.  Sometimes I just get cocky and think that I’m above the ice, that I can walk on it—but no one is above the ice.  There have been many awkward foot slides and arms jutting out to grab things that aren’t there for stability, even a few windmill motions.  I am sometimes quite positive that Georg thinks I am the strangest, clumsiest person he’s ever met.

Okay, introductions.  I am staying with the Stadler Family, which consists of Oma and Opa, parents of Georg, Georg’s wife Bettina, and their three children, Anna (13), Marlene (10), and Sofie (7). When I first arrived last Thursday, I could barely understand a word anyone was saying. That’s because they live in Bavaria, the most southeastern German state, where they have their own special dialect that is much, much different from the German you learn in school.  At first it was overwhelming, but after almost a week, I am fairly settled in and really loving my time here.

Every day I am in the stalls by 6:30 am to begin the morning milking.  There are currently 33 cows that we milk, twice a day. Each one produces about 15 liters each time they are milked, some cows can produce up to 40 liters, but those are the black and white ones.  The ones here are brown and white.  Who knew?  Color really does matter.  The cows come through the “Milking Parlor” and fill six stalls at a time.  They are milked using a machine, but first you have to get those teets revved up first and ready for business.  Meaning you have to start by hand.  At first, this was difficult for me.  I could get milk to come out of 1 or 2 of the 4, but then Georg would have to help me with the others.  After about three days, I could consistently milk any cow with no help, thank god.  It was getting embarrassing. Now it’s like a challenge every time, can she do it, can she milk them….YES SHE CAN…(it just might take a little longer than we expected….) (that one was for you, Dad).  So then you stick the little suctions things on them and they have to stand there for a few minutes and then they can go eat. Fiiiiinallllly, they say.  After they’re all finished, Georg goes and takes care of other duties on the farm, and I clean up the milking parlor.  This is the less fun part, but I’m just glad I can finally do something on my own and not need direction anymore, so I’m happy to do it.  Plus, I get to use a pressure washer, and I feel like I’m right back at Stone Creek Golf Course, so experienced.

The Milking Parlor is just six of these stalls.

 This is the view standing right at the side of the cow, they are about three feet higher than us so that it's easier to milk them.  

At 8:30, we fruhstück. That means we have breakfast. I like the fact that two hours of work are behind me by the time I sit down for my first meal.  And Georg always brings tea for when we are milking, so that tides me over until breakfast. The second milking is at 4:30.  Depending on the day, I either continue working with Georg the full day, or I take a few hours for myself to go explore or relax.  Lunch is always at 12:30.  Half of the week Georg’s mom cooks, the other half, Bettina does.

My first day of work was a Friday, which is a busy day here because it’s the only day of the week that the Hofladen (it’s a little farm store) is open. They sell all kinds of organic products, along with their own milk, eggs, bread, and meat.  Every Friday, Georg’s mom bakes bread in their huge brick oven.  40 big loaves and about 200 or so rolls. This Friday I got to help.  It was fun and delicious, and his mom speaks really slowly for me so that I can understand what she’s saying.  Comically slow. I love it.  She is so sweet, and once she gets going with that dough, whew! Watch out. She’s on point. After we were done with bread, I helped ground and package some meat that was fresh from the slaughter house.  Adjusting to that is a little weird, but I’m just trying to go with it.  Georg was like, yep, we just got one of our bulls back from the slaughter house…moment of silence for the guy…annnnnnnd switch on the grinder. After I packaged it, I brought it to the store to be sold.  I do have to say, it is cool seeing the process of how everything happens and watching it go straight from the farm into people’s grocery baskets. 

Another exciting thing that happened on Friday was a calf being born! It’s little hooves were sticking out as we walked into the barn that morning.  Georg got the big long gloves and some other tools and told me to hop in the pen and help out. Roger that. It’s difficult to describe the exact process of getting baby out, but a lot of pulling and then a rush of blood pretty much explains it I suppose.  Since then two more calves have also been born.  They are so cute and soft and they suck on your finger.  There are also baby piggies and some of them are so small that they can scoot between the bars of the pen and run be free! But then when they see any kind of movement they go squealing back to their moms. Whoever says that pigs are smarter than dogs are just as dumb as the pigs, if you ask me.  Then there are three little Shetland ponies and one is meaner than hell. Along with at least 50 or so cows, that concludes the inhabitants of barn number one.  Scattered throughout the other three buildings are horses, goats, chickens, cats and a dog. Oh, and peacocks. 

Looking out my bedroom window, peacock.

Front door of the cow barn--not sure what it all means, but  I like it.

Here is the first calf that was born! And the second one is on the other side of the mom, tryna get a drank.

Here is where the cows eat once their done milking.  In the summer time they can go out on the fields, but they mostly stay inside during the winter.

The view straight out from my bedroom window.  That's where the coweys are!

On Saturday I got to go for my first outing to Burghausen.  It’s about a 15 or 20 minute bike ride away, depending on if you’re going to the Neustadt or the Altstadt. This time I went by foot.  Georg’s parents drove me into the Altstadt and left me smack in the middle of this beautiful scene:

I walked around for a while and took a few photos, sat and had a coffee at a café, and slowly made my way back to the house.  On Monday I went back into town to explore the castle.  It’s been named Europe’s longest castle, spanning 1.3 km (or thereabouts).  Here’s what it looks like from above.  I took a helicopter ride up so I could get a better angle. Just kidding. Got this on the internet:

To the right of it is the Salzach river, which is the same river that flows through Salzburg (which is only 57 km away from me right now)! And, if you cross the bridge to the very right, you are officially in Austria.  But more on that later. So I parked my super cool ride and strolled through the very empty castle walls.  Here’s some pictures:

It's not Knight Rider, but it does the job.

Took a picture of myself, not lame

I then walked down these steps into the Altstadt:

Once I was there, I crossed the Salzach and sat down for a nice cup of coffee and cookie in Austria.  Delightful.  Except I was alone.  But it was better than being with a cow I guess.  As I was hiking back up to the castle, a woman stopped me and asked if I was from Burghausen and if I knew any good places to eat and we had a whole conversation in German without any confusion and I was so proud of myself. 

"Ach" is the name of a town, so great

Speaking with the kids actually helps a lot, because they don’t know much English (Anna knows some) and so we have to figure everything out in German.  Even better, it's Bayerisch German. The sound of it is actually starting to grow on me, especially the word for "calf".  In German, it's "das Kalb" pronounced like, "dahs Kahlb".  But in Bayerisch?  No.  It's a Koi-bee, the girls say to me like I'm dumb for saying, das Kalb. Koi-bee. Yep, I have a new favorite German word. And, here's some of my other favorite things the girls say:

Sofie: “Komm mit!” (Come with me! She says this as she tugs on my hand and drags me off to her room or the table or anywhere where she wants to show me something).

Marlene:  „Es muss so sein und nicht so sein“.  (It has to be like this, not like that.  She uses this sentence often when she’s explaining to me how to do something, like drive a tractor for instance.  Yeah, a ten year old taught me how to drive the tractor.  Well, the small one.  She can’t drive the big one yet, but I can, neener, neener!)

Sofie: „Zuerst ist er nett und dann wird er böse!“  (At first he’s nice, but then he's bad!  She said this, and the opposite of this, during the first five minutes of a movie we watched the other night, as all of the characters came on the screen. Thank you Sofie, I no longer need to watch the rest of the film.)

Anna: “SAH-fiiiieee!!” (That’s how she says Sofie, especially when Sofie does something wrong.)

Sofie: “‘Tschuldigung…” (In this context, I’m going to translate it as “Oops, sorry!”.  Sofie responds in this way all the time, so quickly, and it’s so funny.  She just says it and then goes on with her business.)

On the third or fourth night, Sofie drew me a bunch of pictures.  The next day, she ran out to me in the barn and showed me  a little piece of wood, in which she’d carved my name: H E L I.  Out of allllllll the different ways I have seen people misspell my name, this was by far my favorite.  I wanted to die of laughter, it was so adorable, and actually, I am quite fond of the new spelling.  Sorry Mom and Dad. 

I am growing very fond of the whole family actually.  I love the way all three girls are so capable of doing everything themselves.  It was the first time I’d seen a seven year old brandish a huge knife at face height to try to cut an apple by herself on the kitchen counter, and succeed.  And when she was struggling, nobody ran to help her, they just let her do it.  The girls drive the tractors, they milk the cows, they can all do pretty much all of the farm work.  I feel like Georg teaches me the same way he teaches his girls, and I think it’s really cool.  He shows me how to do something and then just lets me give it a shot.  If I can’t do it, he gives me a few tips and I try again, but he never does it for me, even though it would be much faster most of the time. 

One example of this would be on Tuesday, when we went into the forest to cut down trees.  First he sat me in the big tractor and showed me all the important things: clutch, gear shifter thingy, ignition, pulleys and lever thingys for the attachements, and then he goes, okay meet you down by the forest.  Sweet.  I have driven a stick shift all of one time, but I guess Kevin did a good job teaching me, because it wasn’t so difficult this time.  The only problem was at first, when I started to pull away, and then Georg wanted to put something in the tractor, he asked me to stop, but I then realized I didn’t know how.  I just kept stepping on the brake and the thing kept rolling along.  Yeah, I know, step on the clutch Hayley, I know that now.

So we got to the forest and then Georg goes, have you ever used a chain saw? Um, does watching someone use one count? Good enough! So he explained how to use it, and how to cut down a tree, and then said, here, you do this one.  Okay, it was a pretty puny tree, the trunk was no more than 10 inches in diameter, but still! Then we went on to cut down much bigger ones (Georg did, I watched and then pulled it down using the tractor if needed).  It was so exciting to watch them fall down with a huge whoosh and crack.  Especially the anticipation of seeing if it was going to fall the right way.  It was like being at a baseball game and thinking every foul ball is going to hit you.  At one point Georg was like, hm, I’m not sure exactly where this one is going to fall.  Do you have special health insurance for Germany? Ha, great, now my mom is going to freak out, because I DON’T. But don’t worry, he was just kidding.  I was probably safer there then I was when we were trying to move a couple of cows the other day.

Here's my chainsaw proof outfit

The boots probably would have fit my dad...even with two pairs of socks and newspaper stuffed inside, they made me twenty times clumsier than I already am.  But they were chainsaw approved!

Anyway, we had to rope and gate off everything and then try to get these four cows to go through a small passageway, with two or three steps.  Not easy. Georg and his dad and I were all trying to herd them in, all had pitchforks in our hands, and the cows just would not go.  They kept trying to double back and I didn’t have the exact know-how to anticipate when I should try to keep blocking them or when I should just let them get by me.  So at one point I ended up stepping backwards and tripping over a small bale of hay, and falling into more hay, and thankfully not getting trampled or stabbing anyone with my pitchfork.  I am getting a lifetime’s worth of experiences here. 

It’s way too much to even try to write about all of it, but those are the highlights so far.  I enjoy having coffee with the grandparents and getting into a long discussion with Opa about factory farming.  The conversation turns to Bush and weapons and I’m out not as enthused, but it’s give and take.  Also I just found out a few days ago that Oma thought I was from Switzerland this whole time, not America.  I’m still confused about that one.  Today the three girls plus one of their friends and I went to go see the sequel to the movie we watched the other night.  We all biked together to the movie theater, which was stressful at times because they have no concept of other people/cars yet, but we all got there and back in one piece and I think the girls had a lot of fun.  It was about four friends and their dog and all of their adventures together.  It was a kid’s movie, so I could understand it, and I was getting super into it.  I love my life. Week two begins tomorrow, and I can only imagine what kind of things I will encounter.